10 Witcher Monsters That Are Actually Criminally Cute
10 Witcher Monsters That Are Actually Criminally Cute
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The Witcher’s monsters aren’t made to be easy to look at, but some of them are actually pretty cute.
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While Geralt’s purpose in The Witcher 3 is to take down the monsters of the world (and find Ciri, of course) not all of the monsters are as… monster-ly. And no, that doesn’t just mean the sexy ones (though a few do end up on this list, since they can do cute, too).
But either way, the point is that not everything Geralt stabs is frightening and chills a player to the bone. Some of them aren’t so satisfying to slay, not with the way they look. After all, who likes tearing something cute to shred?
Here are 10 Witcher monsters that are actually criminally cute.
10 Succubus
Okay, cute isn’t exactly the first word most people think when they see a succubus. Sexy or irresistible are more likely. However, succubus aren’t always out to cause trouble or hurt humans. If anything, most of them just want to get fed and then move on with their day.
Ergo, like any person, a succubus can be surprisingly cute despite the vitality threat they pose. They are born to be attractive so, even when they aren’t trying to feed, they’re cursed to be appealing. But put them in a cute dress instead of something sexy? They are just as adorable as any other beautiful lady.
9 Dogs
In The Witcher, dogs and wolves alike are enemies that can attack Geralt. However, the wolves are not nearly as cute as the dogs are. Despite their snarling and big bites, the pups of this world are unfairly cute for how much trouble they can be. After all, not fighting back isn’t exactly an option, not unless a player places some perfect Yrden wards all the time, and that’s not really an option.
If only these poor, adorable pooches didn’t have to run into the Witcher’s blades so much. Geralt could have a bunch of dog friends alongside his deep bond with Roach.
8 Three Little Pigs
During Geralt’s fun fairytale adventure in Blood and Wine, the Witcher can run into the Three Little Pigs themselves. As one woyuld expect, these little porkers are absolutely adorable, with cute houses and hats in tow. They line up and look like well-dressed little kids would look, not animals.
Unfortunately, though, they are enemies.
So good luck feeling the complete guilt when stabbing a cute pink pig. It’s not a fun situation to be in. At least there isn’t anything about eating them. That would be particularly uncomfortable.
7 Vampires
Perhaps Regis isn’t the best example for some fans, but considering this is the King of vampiric wholesomeness, trying to help Geralt, he works. After all, a monster with a good heart is still adorable, right?
Considering that high vampires can look like normal humans, though, of course some of them are way too cute. They can be handsome men or beautiful ladies, charming people with little smirks and adorable laughs.
If only so many of them weren’t so in love with getting drunk on human blood.
6 Sirens
Much like merpeople of ancient folklore, The Witcher 3’s sirens are part beautiful woman, part fish. However, these ones do have wings, more like the traditional Grecian sirens. They hunt in packs and do not like fire or land. They prefer their natural habitats of the sea and sky.
Though they aren’t kind in combat, at a distance sirens are beautiful, cute creatures that seem far more innocent.
They aren’t, but they can trick a weak player easily with their good looks. It’s almost evil then, making such merciless monsters look so pretty.
5 Godlings
Okay, sure, at first Godlings are a little horrific. If anyone saw one in real life, crawling through their fireplaces, they would have every right to scream. However, being Geralt and spending quite a bit of time with the little monsters, they eventually become pretty cute. Their huge eyeballs are huge and their skin is pigmented wrong, but they have a sort of pug-like charm to them.
At the end of the day, they aren’t all that malicious, and are just little mischievous misfits.
How can one not eventually love their cute charm?
4 Trolls
Looking at trolls as a whole, they can be ugly, but when interacting with them, they are just brainless creatures who end up in bizarre situations by trying to follow others. Whether it’s defending a boat or trying to learn to paint, players learn to see past their sometimes bloody teeth and rocky exterior to see the little adorable person inside.
After all, who can resist a troll who just wants to do some surprisingly wholesome things?
They aren’t handsome creatures, but that doesn’t destroy the charm of some of the more docile, well-meaning ones. They do pack a punch, though.
3 Arachas
On the surface, the arachas creatures are just giant, vile, sharp and pointy insects that Geralt has to be wary of. However, once someone gets used to them, their fantastic colors, varying shells, and different location styles make them almost cute.
Considering they’re brainless monsters who want to stab a player in the leg, that is just not fair. No one can deny that they are absolutely beautiful in their own, insectoid way.
If only they were a little less violent and a little more friendly.
2 Spoon Wight
It’s hard to say that the Spoon Wight is cute in any traditional way. This thing is bony, slimy, with terrifying teeth, eyes, and garish hair.
But once Geralt learns the secrets of the Spoon Wight, it’s just a tragic woman trying to break a curse that Geralt can choose to save. And it’s obsession with spoons becomes adorable and tragic all at once.
If a player decides to save her instead of destroying her, they experience a cute dinner with her to break her curse. How she looks on the outside doesn’t take away from the desperate person inside who simply wants freedom and humanity.
1 Umbra
The existence of Umbras aren’t exactly pleasant. They are hard to see phantoms, ones that even Witchers cannot view with ease. While travelling in Touissant, Geralt had to see through Roach’s eyes to see the spectral umbra of a knight. They normally have unfinished business, like needing forgiveness.
Despite their troubles, though, umbra are quite beautiful in their own way, able to appear in any form and any colors. The aforementioned knight appeared as a stunning purple and gold horse. Even though he was haunting an old hermit, it was still a cute ghostly equine creature.
Link Source : https://screenrant.com/witcher-cutest-monsters/
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