Arrested Development 10 Of Gob’s Most Inappropriate Pickup Lines

Arrested Development: 10 Of Gob’s Most Inappropriate Pickup Lines

Arrested Development’s GOB is a serial romancer, despite a lot of his lines being very inappropriate.

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Cult comedy series, Arrested Development is one of the most quotable comedies around — with almost too many running gags, uncomfortable innuendos and double entendres packed into every episode to count. GOB, the eldest of George Bluth Sr.’s children is a veritable catchphrase machine.

“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” and “COME ON!” are the go-to lines for most Arrested Development fans, as they are for the man himself when he gets himself into a regrettable situation. (Which is every other episode. Wait, make that every episode.) Despite this, GOB is also the most successful when it comes to romance, though these 10 quotes would have you believe otherwise.

10 SPEAKING OF MOTHERS, LET ME GIVE THAT OATMEAL SOME BROWN SUGAR!

This one came from the mouth of Franklin Bluth rather than GOB, but because, you know, Franklin is a puppet, it really came from GOB. (Sorry to shatter the illusion, GOB.) Worst of all, GOB said this to his mother, Lucille. As the narrator explains, Franklin was brought in to inject some “hip” flavor into GOB’s act.

In the flashback, GOB tells Franklin he’s “One cool, motherf***er,” setting up the pick-up line that the puppet directs at a stunned Lucille. George Sr., forgetting its all an act, flies into a rage and assaults both GOB and Franklin. “Get off my wife, you bastard!”

9 WHY GO TO A BANANA STAND WHEN WE CAN MAKE YOUR BANANA STAND?

This line wasn’t directed at any one person but, rather, everyone and anyone that could be lured into becoming a customer when GOB sets up a rival business to the banana stand. With his son, Steve Holt (“STEVE HOLT!”), by his side, GOB wastes not time trying to prove that sex sells.

He brings in two “young beauties,” called Barbara and Dee, to draw a crowd while assuring interested onlookers that neither girl had been “anywhere near the bananas,” and laying on the inappropriate puns thick.

8 NO, I WAS ASHAMED TO BE SEEN WITH YOU. I LIKE BEING WITH YOU

As is the case with most of the situations GOB finds himself in – particularly in the love department – he begins an affair with Lucille Austero (better known as Lucille Two) for the sake of the family business. Or, at least, that’s how he rationalizes it.

Though he clearly has real feelings for the older woman, GOB’s vanity gets the better of him in public. When she accuses him of being “ashamed” to have lunch out with her, his clarification doesn’t sound anywhere near as romantic as he thinks it does, especially when he then tells her to be quiet when he thinks he hears his mother.

7 WELL, THEY GOT THE ‘ASIAN’ RIGHT… ‘HOTTIES’ MIGHT BE A STRETCH

Once again, GOB proves that he has absolutely no filter. GOB is quite happily shacked up in the family yacht, which is one of the Bluths’ few modes of transport they have left that isn’t a complete embarrassment to be seen in. But when Michael decides to sell the boat, GOB’s bachelor life-on-the-sea comes to an end.

Unfortunately, he finds out the hard way (pun intended) when a pair of prospective buyers come to take a look at the yacht. GOB mistakes them for… whoever it was he ordered. You get the point. Regardless, he decides to make do: “Well, let’s start with the little one.”

6 SO I, UH, STEP IN AND LAY MY SWEET CROWN UPON HER HEAD

When Maebe and Ann decide to enter the Miss Inner Beauty Pageant, we find out that GOB is a teen pageant judge, because of course GOB is a teen pageant judge. As you’d expect, he makes no effort to hide his motivation for taking the position: picking up young women.

He, predictably, has a gross system for this: “First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third place, although a little bit plain, has super low self-esteem.”

5 CAR TROUBLES?

This one seems fairly inoffensive on the surface, but that’s before you know what the full context is. GOB and Lindsay often berate Michael for not having had “enough” sexual partners in his life (and a deceased wife is no excuse). This frustrates Michael to no end.

In one episode, he highlights his brother’s extreme tactics to pull off pick-up lines like the one above. “I’m not going to, you know, siphon gas out of some girl’s car like you used to in high school […].” GOB’s response? “It’s called ‘taking advantage’ and it’s what gets you ahead in life.”

4 LIKE TO SEE A W***E DO THAT! NOT THE CARRYING WEIGHT PART, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND… IF IT’S FREE

To help the Bluths prepare their legal defense, they enlist the help of lawyer/ television producer, Jan Eagleman, who agrees to allow them to use a run-through of her Judge Judy-style show, Mock Trial with J. Reinhold to hold a practice version.

Jan takes the role of prosecutor and George Sr. is delighted to have on board. “She carries a lot of weight, and she’s not charging us anything.” Unfortunately, he says this line in front of Franklin and GOB, who instantly pounce on the set-up.

3 STILL, WHERE DID THE LIGHTER FLUID COME FROM?

Magic is GOB’s go-to solution for anything, since it’s his life’s true passion and all. That includes trying to charm people he’s attracted to. This means always having literal tricks up his sleeves (or dead birds in his pants). Creating a fireball is supposedly his signature move… or it would be if we ever got to see it.

The illusion never works, leaving his confused audience left to wonder why lighter fluid is leaking from his shirt. We first see him try this on Sally Sitwell, to which he can only follow up with the lame response above.

2 BUT I BOUGHT A YEARBOOK FROM YOU, DOESN’T THAT MEAN ANYTHING ANY MORE?

When GOB is revealed to be secretly dating Ann at the end of Season 3, the age gap is more than a little unsettling. However, even more unsettling is the strong implication than Ann is far from the youngest girlfriend GOB has had.

We make this discovery when GOB attempts to interfere with Michael’s relationship with his son’s ethics teacher. He ends up at one of the school dances chasing down a girl called Shannon, though he tells his nephew he’s there to support him.

1 IF I CAN’T FIND A HORNY IMMIGRANT BY THEN, I DON’T DESERVE TO STAY HERE

GOB always took his relationship with telenovela star, Marta, for granted, which only became clear to him when he realized she’d fallen for someone else. When Marta finally breaks thing off with him, a crestfallen GOB turns to his not-so-doting mother.

“What, did that Mexican throw you out?” Lucille enquires. “She’s not ‘that Mexican,'” GOB tells her. “She’s my Mexican. And she’s Columbian or something. Anyway, it’s over.” Lucille tells him he has a three-day deadline to sort his living situation out, prompting this unromantic response from GOB.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/arrested-development-10-of-gobs-most-inappropriate-pickup-lines/

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